joy eats

my director took me out for lunch last week because she told me that "we needed to talk". that phrase made me nervous the whole week leading up to thurs. but it turned out to be really good news. she not only offered me a full time position starting in sept. because i told her that finishing my thesis is my first priority right now, but she's also willing to train me to become a director.

i've been praying about this offer for sometime and at this point i think i'm gonna take this job. for a few of you that had heard me share about teaching knows that it wasn't an easy journey because my first job burned me badly. by the time i quit my first job, i literally hated every part about teaching. But there was a teachable moment for me recently... it's kind of long just to warn you.

back then when i took that job, it was my first real full time job without doing anything else on the side. there was so much issues to deal with at work that it became my whole life. the strange tension at work didn't allow us to express our frustration, so work was all that i could think about and talk about outside of work. i didn't like who i was turning into but i didn't know what i could do to change that. exclude the natural stress that came from the fact that it was first time where i had my own classroom, a teaching team and curriculum to plan, there were lots of other issues that was going on at the same time... i was framed by co-workers for something i didn't do. parents yelled at me during our first parent conference because they had a bad day at work. people were stealing money from the school. there were rumors and hurtful comments from co-workers that I wasn’t a competent teacher. There was a ghost situation that happened whenever this particular child was in school...blah blah blah… and the list goes on. in all honesty, I couldn’t focus on teaching with all these other stuff happening every single day. toward the end of my second year there, I had to quit; I didn’t want to be in that environment anymore, and i started to think that i wasn’t made to be a teacher.

So for the last two year, I’ve been praying about career path and direction. I was so set that I’ll not step into a classroom ever. i told God that I would rather stare at a computer for 8 hrs a day than to teach again. Then when it was time for me to write my thesis, it required me to be in the field, so I found this part-time job at a Christian preschool where i’m currently working at. even then I thought it would be a temporary thing, but that wasn’t what God had in mind. During one of my afternoons with the children we were practicing the bible verse of the week. I’ve heard them recite different verses every week but for some reason, that afternoon, I was really moved by it. I tear because i was so happy for them. It amazed me just how bless they are to know God, their creator, at such a young age. It was then that I felt God speaking to me “You can make an eternal impact on these young minds. don’t run from it, and don’t let others tell you that you’re not good enough.” That momemt gave me a new strength, a new purpose to what I do. it's hard to explain; it was short but precise. the insecurities that i held onto from my past teaching experience don't seem that big of a deal anymore. i mean they were still bad, but i'm not scare going forward. i'm certain that difficult situations will arise in the future, but at least I know that if I’m doing what God has calls me to do, he’ll give me the power to do it well. actually the funny thing is that i don't really know why i choose to get a masters in child development, but it falls into part of His plans.

afterall, i guess i'll be in nor-cal for a few more years...

# posted by joy @ 10:58 AM